About Getting Back Home
On this path, the first and most pervasive obstacle is the mind’s habitual movement outward. Attention is repeatedly drawn to thoughts, objects, roles, and circumstances, and this outward flow is reinforced by deep identification with the body–mind complex and personal history. Constant mental chatter, subtle emotional reactions, and the tendency to cling to roles and relationships all obscure the simple awareness of “I am.” In this way, the sense of being a separate ego-personality, with its desires and fears, is continually reasserted. These patterns are further strengthened by old *vasanas* and conditioning, which keep the sense of individuality and separation alive.
Another significant difficulty lies in confusing intellectual understanding with direct insight. The mind often prefers complex explanations, philosophical speculation, or analytical debate about “Who am I?” instead of turning inward to the living sense of “I.” This can create a refined “seeker” identity or even a subtle spiritual ego that claims progress and special status. At the same time, there may be a search for the Self as if it were an object to be found, or an expectation of dramatic experiences, visions, or special states. Mistaking temporary peace, bliss, or blankness for realization, or seeking future attainment rather than recognizing present awareness, all divert attention from the actual work of inquiry.
Practical obstacles also play a decisive role. There is often a lack of sustained attention, with difficulty in maintaining focus on the source of the “I”-sense, and a tendency to fall back into mental proliferation. Inconsistent practice, impatience, and giving up when confronted with dryness or frustration weaken the transformative potential of the method. Doubt and skepticism about the efficacy of the inquiry, or the belief that additional external practices, conditions, or knowledge are required, further complicate the process. Social conditioning, worldly responsibilities, and external distractions can also reinforce ego-identification and obscure the immediacy of Self-awareness.
Underlying many of these obstacles is a subtle resistance of the ego to its own dissolution. Fear of losing familiar identity and control, together with the desire for particular experiences or attainments, keeps attention bound to the very structures that inquiry seeks to penetrate. Yet all these hindrances—whether mental, emotional, or practical—are themselves manifestations of thought and identification. The teaching points repeatedly to recognizing these movements as objects of awareness rather than as the true subject, and to returning, with patience and persistence, to the bare sense of “I” until its source stands revealed.